It would appear that as a result of NP’s frequently submitted video game-related articles, the site has drawn the attention of gamers around the world, to which we say “Big deal”, but even we were shocked recently to be contacted by a man decked out in stylish fashions who may or may not have claimed to work for NCSoft, makers of hugely successful games like Guild Wars, Lineage, and Aion. Seriously, I’m not making this up. To prove it, here’s an interview!
Warden Wells: Hi, and welcome to Nonpersons. So Mr. Repose tells me that you refuse to leave until you are satisfied that your message is appropriately conveyed to fans, claiming you may or may not work for NCSoft.
Ayep. That’s right. I work for NCSoft, pubrisha of a-huge games you rikey pray. We all super cool.
WW: Okay. Well I have to admit, I always wondered if we could get a game developer on the site for a Q&A, but NCSoft? That’s pretty amazing. So I guess I better get with the Q.
Ayep. I didn’t come here for yo goddamn shit. You waste enough time and space making huge brack bar on my Asian face. Rookit all dat waste of brack. Pitiful.
WW: Sure. So what’s your favorite game?
Well, you probably not know about Koreans since you just dumb American retard pray Madden games all day, but we have game called Starcraft, very new wave. Hip unrike your shirt. Pray onrine all day, score super hot babies. Yeaaaah!
WW: I know about Starcraft. It’s outdated and not very fun if you ask me.
You could-a get seriourousry kirred in my country for talking so much nonsensy shit, Warden a-Whitewells. Starcraft best game ever. Kim Jong Il invent dat like toaster, internet porn, and chibi. Do not upset grorious reader!
WW: Let’s talk about NCSoft’s games, and the ideal of Korean game developers in general. What’s the difference between your games and those of Japan and the more western countries?
JAPAN?? Japan don’t know goddamn shit about games, too busy stuffing octopus in womb to pay special attention to most powerful game erement of rife.
WW: So what is the secret of Korean game development then? Note: POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD!
God you fucking dumb. Answer is Grinding.
WW: So wait. You’re saying that the key to great game development is hours upon hours of the same or similar tasks with the promise of very little reward simply to keep people playing?
That exactly what I’m saying! Korean game developer spend-a many countress hours away from famiry to bring you mindress grinding excitement to your home. Your dick shrink away like Asian one grinding for one piece of armor for 3 week at a time. It more boring than real rife but rook much better. No fat chicks.
WW: So you’re saying your new game, Aion…..
HAHAHAHA! Aion crowning masterpiece in grinding! So much QQ in LFG from stupid lazy Americans who not harden themselves to grinding like superior Korean man. We lure you in to level 25 and then all you do is grind and get ganked in the Abyss where loot and xp are better but so are enemy prayer who only want to ruin your day! Lvl 50 players so bored with no new content they just go kill lowbies for fun. Perfect pran.
WW: Interesting, but I heard there was worse grinding in Lineage.
Yeah but Rineage not rook as good as Aion. Aion graphics give Americans boner size of Chuck Norris so they think they’re enjoying it when all they really doing is wasting time for tiny reward while their girlfriend find new man. Korean man maybe.
WW: People will eventually get bored of it and go back to WoW.
I don’t think so. We safe in $$$ just rike people buy all Fergie music, think because it has beat it’s good song but couldn’t be anymore wrong and stupid. Raugh out roud!
WW: So you’re saying NCSoft thanks their loyal, paying players with cruelty, incredibly slow leveling, and lopsided pvp and doesn’t take steps to change this to suit the audience.
And people keep buying our goddamn shit. Wise man once said – no guilt in selling air to man who dumb enough to keep paying.
- Wells
PS: Hey Readers. Be sure to check out Aion and Guild Wars if you have a lot of free time and are not potentially suicidal. You’ll love every minute of sweet, gorgeous apathy.
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