» Entertainment

A Prize 6 Years in the Making

Mr. Repose — Sun, 15 May 2011 05:39:08 +0000

I swear to whatever gods will listen, if I could I would get a bottle, slap a label on it that said '6th Year Birthday Tonic' and put a big fat turd in it then mail it to the Arena Net corporate offices to express my fanboy angst in it's starkest terms. [...]

I heard it through the Comic Vine

The Warden — Tue, 09 Nov 2010 08:29:06 +0000

That's why I found it both depressing and hilarious to note how the members of Comic Vine take a collective steaming wee wee on the entire roster of potentially awesome characters by reducing them to what they can do in a fight, because apparently that's all comic book mainstays are suited for. It's like arguing with my friends back in grade school about which video game system was better. Hence, comic book fans can be really fucking stupid. Just take a look at one of the main draws of Comic Vine - the ability to vote on randomly generated fights between superheroes, supervillains, Vegeta, and God. You know, I swear I've seen this before somewhere. Hmmm. Oh that's right... Kittenwar.com [...]

Gamespot’s Greatest Game Villains and Other Stupid Popularity Contests.

The Warden — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 19:26:15 +0000

A while back, Gamespot.com began a tier-based, vote-fueled, completely fraudulent and utterly retarded popularity contest called "All Time Greatest Game Villain" that would result in much whining and disappointment, this article included. However, as someone who grew up with nearly all of the characters involved, I feel it is a right and a duty of mine, in all the power my geeky childhood gives me to do so, to further mock what has already become a mini monument of fail. Let's take a look at how the contest worked [...]

Digital Nightmares Vol. 4

The Warden — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 01:25:32 +0000

You know, if someone had told me, long long ago, that there were quite so many shitty video games in the world, I might not have bothered collecitng them. Nonetheless, I still have a small hoard of 8 and 16 bit cartridges lying around from when I was younger, taking up space and, from a purely entertainment viewpoint, not aging all that well. Case in point, the fresher generation of angsty consumers has to wonder what the fuck we were thinking to spend money on garbage that can now be reproduced and improved upon by a teenager armed with a copy of Flash and a case of Red Bull and no life to speak of. As I play more NES roms, I realize how stupidly simple his task is. [...]

Grind Wars – Secrets of Korean Game Developers Revealed!

The Warden — Sun, 02 May 2010 12:52:39 +0000

It would appear that as a result of NP’s frequently submitted video game-related articles, the site has drawn the attention of gamers around the world, to which we say “Big deal”, but even we were shocked recently to be contacted by a man decked out in stylish fashions who may or may not have claimed to [...]

Evony – or How to trick morons into playing your game with gratutious T&A

The Warden — Thu, 22 Apr 2010 01:31:03 +0000

So if you’ve been on the internet for more than 60 minutes, you’ve already witnessed what are arguably the most hilariously exploitative, dishonest, and just plain bad “free online game” advertisements in history. IN HISTORY. I dare you to find something more pitiful and repugnant than the misleading boobs-a-poppin’ flash/banner ads for Evony, a game that’s [...]

Digital Nightmares – HACK EDITION

The Warden — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 07:35:53 +0000

Digital Nightmares is back with a special edition that our 5 readers will just go nuts over! Now while the 'Nightmares' in Digital Nightmares has, in the past, consistently stood for outrageous difficulty regardless of the quality of gameplay, Hack Edition widens the playing field; the following games are nightmares because of the near-sacrilege it was to have created them in the first place. They are hacks, the definition in this case being: ROMS that have been cosmetically altered to present different characters and/or themes than originally intended. With that out of the way, let's dip into what I found. [...]

Death Knights: Not to be taken seriously.

The Warden — Wed, 10 Feb 2010 18:09:14 +0000

Pros of being a DK: Plate armor Cons of being a DK: Everything else [...]

Seth MacFarlane, you’re not funny. Give it up.

The Warden — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 21:04:55 +0000

Hey, you know what Family Guy, American Dad, and The Cleveland Show all have in common? Assuming you’ve even heard of the Cleveland Show by now and have also NOT committed suicide knowing it exists, I’ll tell you: all three are the projects of a guy named Seth MacFarlane. Seth, after an attempt in the 90′s [...]

Creating Realistic Monsters

Mr. Repose — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 04:40:12 +0000

Once you've made the decision to cross the line and have the power to do so, there is little reason to hold back. They don't go far enough to feel like a villain, their plans in many cases are too localized and silly. The most memorable villains are the ones with depth, who have done a lot of evil things, but most importantly, have compounded them over a period of time. The ones that just 'snap' and decide to be evil just seem... fake. Like a hackneyed plot device that, in many ways, just detracts from the story. What many forget is that their has to be a motive, someone just doesn't wake up one morning and decide to kill all the jews or wipe people out of history or fly planes into buildings. [...]