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Welcome to Bangoria

Bangoria… a land torn by strife and war.   Upon it’s shattered planes and rocky mountaintops the fires of battle burn like a bloody candlelight vigil for all the warriors who have fallen in the conflicts that sweep this ever changing land.  Warriors, mercinaries, assassins and even more unsavory types constantly sell their blades and sometimes their very souls to the highest bidder all in the name of profit and a chance at spoils.  Yet many also hope to change this world, make a difference for good but those guys are total pussies and we’re not going to talk about them.  Nay, we shall talk only of the legendary man and women who grace this theater of death.  Fir though the most well-known ones shall be revealed.

The most deadly and legendary warrior that roves this land is the mighty…. BEARMASTER.

The BEARMASTER skates into battle, on roller blades forged in the darkest mountain and infused with the blood of two liches, a red dragon, and a werebear.  The skates, as he rolls across the land, leave a perpetual bloody streak on the ground, to signify that the BEARMASTER has been there.  His weapons are two bears, that are attached to whips.  The bears are named Cuddles and Fuzzywuzzy.  In battle the BEARMASTER skates doing flips and turns while wiping his mighty whip bears into foes, causing them to suffer an instant mauling.

The BEARMASTER is a mysterious force, for he never seems to have any motive to these mauling attacks.  His glorious tanned body and loincloth (woven from the hair of powerful swamp hags that he killed because they were ugly) forming a blur of flesh toned death as he buzz saws his way across the various battlefields. His long uncut blonde hair wafting dramatically in the wind as his bears maul his foes.  Their blood splattering on his perfect white teeth that glisten brightly as he smiles enjoying the sheer carnage of war.  His loincloth bulging with a possible erection, he is truly at home on the battlefield.

Click to continue reading “Bangoria Tour Guide – The BEARMASTER”
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