» Blurbs

Dj McLicious – Ultimate Gurt Mix

Mr. Repose — Fri, 17 Sep 2010 02:57:38 +0000

This is the new hit single from Nonpersons record's latest album by Dj McLicious. Be sure to look for the album titled 'Gurt Lava Beach Party' at no record store... ever. [...]

Sharks With Lasers on Their Heads

Mr. Repose — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 10:32:53 +0000

THE SEAS WILL BE A CRIMSON FLOOD OF BLOOD AND RED HOT LASER [...]

Retarded Inventors

Mr. Repose — Sat, 08 May 2010 05:14:02 +0000

Sometimes a combo product can be useful, like, say the swiss army knife. Other times, combining two things together can only lead to great accident potential. Factor in the chance that stupid people are going to buy said products and pretty soon you’re bound to get someone fucking hurt.

With that being said the device I’m talking [...]

Fate

Mr. Repose — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 19:09:03 +0000

Last night my little brother was telling me that he had to attend a seminar about how it's important to preserve the oceans, about how it's important to save the whales and such. I found myself laughing. I said that the sun will become too hot to support life on the surface of the planet after a billion years. After two the oceans are going to be boiled and eventually dry up. After the sun turns into a red giant in another few billion years then world will be utterly destroyed, as it sinks into the enlarged sun. Pretty much our entire solar system will be annihilated when that happens. [...]

Sympathy For The Pope

Mr. Repose — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 02:54:45 +0000

You ascend, and sit in your pope throne, and you think to yourself. Now I am the leader of the all the Christians, and the lord will speak to me and tell me what I must do to guide my flock. You sit in your throne and you hold your hands up and you say, lord I am here and I will listen to your divine words. I will follow them to the letter o' lord, for I art thou humble servant. I beseech you o' lord, speak and I shall listen. [...]

Impotent Rage

Mr. Repose — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 05:05:27 +0000

I always find it funny how the mild stuff people will get all worked up and pissed off, but the major stuff they don’t seem to much mind. At least not unless the major stuff actually inconveniences them in any way shape or form. Everyone’s all for a war until the price at the pump goes [...]

al-Qaida experiencing its own terror under Barack

The Warden — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 13:31:32 +0000

al-Qaida leaders showed much anger and fear in regards to the new U.S. president in newly recorded video footage, regarding him as a “killer of innocents” and responsible for the recent battles in Gaza, despite Barack Obama not being in office when they began. They fear that they will no longer have a perfect example of [...]

Obama: Bush is a “good guy”

The Warden — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 13:17:50 +0000

As the United States nears the historic inauguration of President-Elect Barack Obama, a couple things are on many American minds, including among them "God, I'm glad the old president is out" and "God, I hope the new president doesn't get shot in the head". Smart thinking, but one has to be prepared for the worst on the eve of such a dramatic change in the country's history. President George W. Bush left such a hole in the U.S.'s reputation that foreign countries are possibly more excited than ever about who takes the reins. [...]

Man proves movies influence violent behavior!

The Warden — Sun, 11 Jan 2009 02:58:25 +0000

Way up north in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, a man was acquitted of murder (that means he wasn't convicted, just so you know) when he got a jury to accept his self-defense plea, citing that the victim, who had allegedly threatened him in the past, was stabbed a total of 39 times, but "wouldn't bleed properly the way he should've bled, according to the movies." [...]

Porn Industry Requests Bailout – Congressional Response Flaccid

Mr. Repose — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 19:30:11 +0000

Recently the porn industry has suffered, much like the banks and automotive industries. Of course with the porn business, at least they could legitimately say the reason their businesses were failing is was not associated with greed, incompetence, or corruption. They were just busy fucking.

Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO [...]