On my voter registration card is an acronym, it says ‘NPA.’ No Party Affiliation. There’s a reason I don’t support any political party, and that’s because it makes the most sense to me not to put my faith in the hands of complete idiots. Seriously, spend half a day watching house and senate meetings on CSPAN and you’ll see what I’m talking about. These are supposedly the best of the party, the winners, the people in charge of making laws to improve our collective lives. So why is it that the speaker from Tennessee or Alabama or one of those bible belt states is wasting the House’s time requesting that everyone stand up and sing ‘God Bless America’ and those that are opposed should be put on record as ‘hating America?’ Because he’s an idiot that’s why, and so is every single person that voted for him. Then some democrat from up north, I think New York gets up and starts singing it before whoever is in charge of this ship of fools stops this lame political stunt in it’s tracks.
These are the people responsible for passing bills and reforms folks, a room full of feeble old people who spend most of their time obfuscating every issue and delaying any progress to make some half-assed protests or to try and score some political points for their re-election campaign. That’s all it is really, these are career politicians. They have awesome health care (at taxpayer expense), their pockets are lined with so many backers and lobbyists, that to think that people in circumstances like that actually give a damn what happens to anyone else is almost laughable. That’s just rhetoric though.
It’s just humorous to me to see what these people do exactly. For example, just now I was watching this guy from Texas, one, John Carter, go on a speech in the House. This man, who looks like my grandfather, went on about the forefathers, and how they founded a ‘republic’ for blah blah blah morals blah blah blah. This went on for about three minutes. First, I don’t think the House needs a damn history lesson that serves as little more than an attempt to assert your party is right by simple virtue of the fact the forefathers founded a republic so republic-ans must be the chosen ones. Right, okay, whatever. Second, I’m not sure what this has to do with the purpose of the hearing, which apparently was to talk about the federal bailout money and where it went. I know why he said it, to fluff his point. To give whatever argument he’s about to present the presumption of correctness rather than actually making a point that’s significant enough to stick.
Throughout my life I’ve been plagued with a nagging doubt, inherently distrusting most anything I hear or see till I can get a close examination of it. This is because my life has not exactly been filled with rainbows and buttercups. Some people are shown a different world through their experience than others. Some may have viewed their school days, for example, with fondness. Others may only remember the awkwardness and the petty cruelties imposed upon them by others. As an example of course, because I certainly don’t relate to the latter at all. Because of this distrust, a person becomes somewhat difficult to manipulate or be told things that they cannot confirm. Of these things, religion is definitely one of them. I was raised Southern Baptist, went to crazy churches full of yelling and carrying on, when behind the scenes things weren’t much different for me than school. I got picked on by the church kids… in the damn church. My family has always made the assumption that due to this fact, I viewed all Christians as hypocrites and distanced myself from the religion.
I’d say that they are half-right. Most Christians, it seems, tend to bypass the parts of the bible that are inconvenient for them and exaggerate others for their own benefit. That’s not my problem with Christianity, or any religion based on the teachings of the bible. My particular issue is much more complicated than that. It wouldn’t be fair of me to dislike an entire religion because the followers don’t always heed the words they profess to base their lives around. Some people have a problem with people basing their life on a book written thousands of years ago and, as a result, is not relevant to modern life; but those are the same people that just are too lazy to see how the old viewpoints are applicable to today. It’s not hard to infer generalities from old literature, people do it all the time. You’d hardly consider Homer to be a waste of paper, even though it’s not relevant to today, you can still get something out of it. Hence why they teach it in schools.
No, my problem lies with the very heart of the religion itself, God. The Creator. Science claims that one day a big wad of crap exploded and made the universe, but little is offered to explain where said wad of crap came from or why it decided to erupt. Christianity professes that god did it. Well, lets explore that. Why did God create the universe? An all-powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing being was just floating around in nothingness since… forever. We are given no explanation as to where this being came from, what created him, and how the hell he has so much power. So this supposedly all-powerful force was just sitting around one day, got bored, and decided to make the universe. From that point he decided to create life. What’s the motivation exactly? Maybe he was lonely. Maybe it was a test to see which of the very beings he created would stay loyal to him after he put a little pressure on them. So heaven goes to war, they kill each other off, and the survivors are cast down to Hell. Giving God a place to send those who he decides he must punish. Beings he created. Beings he knew would react in a certian way no matter what he did because he’s omnipotent. Yet he went ahead and did it anyway. He made man.
Released in 2009 during the famous television writer’s strike, Joss Whedon’s Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog is a web-based mini series created by a small talented team and distributed in 3 acts over the course of about a week. The entire production from beginning to end consists of purely brilliant writing, acting and creativity that was apparently meant to show that the writer’s strike would not make all options for entertainment impossible. It worked.
As I watched, and watched again, I realized that there is something very familiar and comforting about this one-shot sensation. Sure, the humor is some of the best I’ve seen, the music is incredible, and it’s going to be topping charts as one of the greatest random displays of genius that we’ve had the pleasure to see outside of the typical scripted work on TV. But it wasn’t that. It was Dr. Horrible himself.
Dubbed a “tragicomedy”, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog presents trials that could relate to so many people if the rules were different. A decent person down deep, Dr. Horrible (alias Billy) merely wants to be inducted into the Evil League of Evil for his scheming and inventing talents; a typical mad scientist, he is not brutal or murderous in the least, until someone hurts him and puts him in a position in which even non-geniuses find themselves driven to unspeakable feats, and that is where some viewers can identify. It no longer becomes the exact same sort of humor the bubbly idiot sitting next to you is watching, and you find it funny but you find it sad too.
While I’ve always considered most far right-wing people to be somewhat… mentally unbalanced, especially during the two terms of our last President George W. Bush, I’ve never seen them become quite as unglued as they have in the past few months. Right-wing madness is at a record high that I think would put even the most smug of hippies to shame. You didn’t see hippies at a town hall meeting screaming ‘WHY ARE YOU IGNORING HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE!?!‘ and trying to claim the fucking President isn’t a US Citizen at least. Yeah, Obama managed to fool the CIA and the FBI into believing he’s a citizen! He’s just that persuasive. Of course, being a crazy old woman I doubt the lady responsible for the above quote knows that his birth certificate was released by Obama just to shut crazy people like this up. To which, some of these mutants who believe he’s not a citizen claim that until they see it in person they won’t believe it! Like Obama is gonna just go around letting them look at his birth certificate to dispel the rumors of the crazy and the senile. Of course not all the people who believe this to be true are crazy and senile, some of them are elected congressmen which is really, really pathetic.
People like this piss me off about as much as those assholes who thought 9/11 was staged.
Something about having to defend a politician makes me feel dirty, and there’s almost too much crazy for any one person to dispel. Thankfully, not everyone has decided to throw facts out the window and there are some places to find… you know, valid information, about these bizarre rumors. There are a few that make me laugh, such as, and this should be a given, that Obama is the Antichrist. You heard me.
While searching for a good photo of Dick Masterson – Professional Chauvinist to tack onto my previous article, I came across what is apparently (and was inevitably) a site designed to “fight back” against www.menarebetterthanwomen.com. What is the name of this counter-site you ask? Well duh. It’s http://womenrbetterthanmen.wordpress.com/. Now ignoring the fact that the grammar in the URL is fucked, the basic concept of a retaliatory project designed (presumably) by a female sounded interesting, so I gave it a quick once over. I wish I hadn’t.
First off, this is, in fact, not a good idea on any level. Reasons for that being:
The term “Don’t feed the trolls” applies to the original message from Mr. Masterson, and if you were trying to prove that women react angrily and predictably to his kind of rampant jackass behavior, then jacktheterrier (the author of the blog) has succeeded.
The intelligence level of the author in question is most certainly not that of a person that either gender would want representing them. For example, the list of reasons why women are better than men actually make Dick look right about what he said, including moronic statements that only gel with his theories such as:
9th. Men are sugar daddy’s, ATMs, cash machines, piggy banks, bank accounts and so forth
1st. We don’t pay for sex, you do (and we’ll never have to) (editors note: the definition of a WHORE is a woman who fucks for money)
So within the past few days, I’ve come across a series of links leading me to a site called www.menarebetterthanwomen.com. That’s right, it says Men are Better than Women…. dot com. While I think the majority is still somewhat uncertain as to whether or not this site and its owner hold any legitimate position and are not, in fact, simply intended as a gimmick to make money, the popularity, or rather notoriety of Dick Masterson’s vision cannot be denied.
Apparently, Mr. Masterson is a “professional chauvinist”, and I suppose the fact that he’s making a shit ton of money off of little more than calling women fat, stupid, selfish whores would actually give that title some merit. Gimmick or not, what’s Dick’s big game plan? To insult women. A lot. But I’ve come to a conclusion through reading some of his blog articles and watching his appearance on Dr. Phil – Dick is nuts.
While I find humor in offending the thin-skinned and the stupid, it is not and never has been solely one gender, race, nor creed that I find a suitable target. Not only is that just plain old discriminatory, but let’s face it, it’s boring. Then again, I don’t think I’ll have as much nationwide success as Dick by calling my book/website “Certain People are Better than Certain Other People”. It’s just not as catchy.
When I first registered to Blog Catalog, I did so at the behest of The Warden. Somehow, I was under the mistaken impression that it was a good site to ‘get noticed’ on. I was only half right, as it’s a good place to get noticed by Habeeb and Hadji’s spam emporium, good luck finding a breathing and intelligent human being in this seething pit of stupidity. I don’t know who moderates this site, but whoever it is must be the most down syndrome infested retard to ever walk the face of the earth. Holy shit, I have never seen so many Viagra blogs, recycled content blogs, crappy online storefront blogs, ‘blogging tips’ blogs and ‘make money online’ blogs in my entire life. This site barely encourages ‘networking’, it’s a lot easier to just add every spammer who makes a friend request and leaves a stupid comment on your ’shout box’ than to try and pick and choose. If you’re looking for actual humans and not whoever is surfing the web looking to promote his Viagra blog while working from his local Sprint call center in New Delhi, then you, my friend, are fucked.
It’s fairly common on some sites to have junk, and such. You can’t keep all the spammers out, which is true in and of itself. Whereas most sites at least endeavor to keep most of the spammers out, Blog Catalog has taken a unique and novel approach to the spam issue… they don’t even try to prevent it. I spent three hours today clicking blogs, of the blogs I clicked only 2 of them were actual blogs about things other than ‘blogging’ or ‘internet marketing,’ and only one of them was a blog that actually had content on it that didn’t consist of some jack-offs twitter ‘tweets.’ This isn’t the only day I’ve tried to find some people a random either, but some days I try to find people by interests. So I would go to say the ‘humor’ group and browse the members there, and they were Indians as well! It’s like a really boring version of Night Of The Living Dead only instead of zombies trying to eat your brains it’s Indian guys trying to sell you cell phones and cheap prescription medications.
Click The Image for A Larger Version
Oh, what’s that? ‘It can’t be that bad.’ Yeah, take a look at these shout box comments that I’ve had the pleasure of receiving, they are so legit and not at all generic form spam intended solely to get people to come to their blog and buy shoes made by slave kids in Hong-Kong.
You probably know Keith Olbermann, even if you don’t recognize his name off-hand. Mr. O is the cocky mouthpiece of a new, neurotic generation of liberal reporting. He gets people out of their seats for at least the time it takes for his show to be over and reality TV to start. Why? Because he’s “intense”. His views are “revolutionary”. His words are “impactful”. And he insults Bush a lot. Mostly it’s because he insults Bush a lot.
In truth, it’s quite obvious to the intelligent amongst us that he’s completely and utterly full of shit. I have never seen anyone quite like Keith ‘Doberman’ Olbermann, a man so blatantly aroused at the sound of his own voice and earning megabucks to read “his” thoughts from a teleprompter, a raging boner the size of Texas rubbing against his bulging wallet, and yet he has the gaul to pretend that he gives a sideways pityfuck about any of us. Most people don’t even notice the tell-tale signs of a bullshit artist, but don’t worry. This might help. I’ve collected a series of screenshots from a single Olbermann video reposted on Youtube from yesterday along with a few captions of what I think ole Keith is really saying.
The Many Faces of Keith Olbermann:
There's nothing I despise more than people who aren't me.
Say, here’s a great intro. Not that he doesn’t look like this throughout the vast majority of everything he’s ever done, but bear in mind, this was capped in the first 4 seconds of content… a facial expression that I would literally consider punching any human being that looked at me in such a way with in real life. Everything about his face says contempt, not passion. People who talk to you through cocked eyebrows probably don’t care about you, not that I’m listing this as a personal fault of his since I hate most of you too.. but I’m not saying I do on national television.
But sometimes, and by sometimes I mean most of the time, we overestimate our cognitive capabilities and end up bruised and broken (hence, the Darwin awards). The following are a few of the things that should be properly labeled so we don’t hurt our stupid selves quite so much:
1.) Likable People: This is a no-brainer, specifically in reference to romantic attraction, or as some of you would refer to it, “getting a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’”; clear labels should be applied to all people who are above a certain level of likability so if you know yourself to be an emotional suction cup, they will provide a stark reminder of how you’re just risking another potentially devastating relationship failure that will tear you up inside for possibly many years and make you question everything about yourself in a fruitless effort to find out exactly what it is that people find so repulsive about you that they don’t want to include you in their future.
The labels would be color-coded according to base likability, like so -
Grey: People in the grey range are not very likable. These are the kinds of people who tell you spreadsheet jokes at the office followed by their own hollow laughter, and own at least 3 coffee mugs with Star Trek characters on them. In actuality, there may as well not even be a label for these harmless amoebae, but in the event one is accidentally killed in a freak printer accident, the officers on duty will be able to take one look at their color, quickly file them under “No big loss” and get back to investigating serious matters.
Yellow: A step up from grey, yellow people can be likable under certain circumstances, but are otherwise intolerable. If they stick to their area of expertise then they provoke little irritation from peers, but if they step out of bounds, they must be reminded that simply because they’re yellow does not mean they’re intelligent or good at ping pong. You could take a yellow label to the prom just so you have someone to go with, but pay them 10 dollars in advance not to speak.
When I was around eight years old I was laying in my mom’s bedroom since she had the largest and most comfortable bed in the house. We had just got home from seeing Ghostbusters 2, and I was getting sleepy. In my state of mind, as plain as day I could have swore I saw Slimer coming from my mom’s bathroom at me. I tried to scream but I could not. Pinned with terror I simply waited for the vision to go away, dreadfully fearful of a possible tentacle ravishing or even more so perhaps of a possible sliming afterward, and there was no guarantee that it would be the green kind of slime. Here’s the thing about that, I could have swore Slimer was really there. It was obviously my imagination/sleepy state but there are people, lots of people actually, who take things they see in a moment of say, sleep paralysis and believe it was real. Another good example of this was one night in my old apartment where I started falling asleep but woke up mentally but not physically, so that my body was lying prone due to the aforementioned sleep paralysis and I hallucinated that a ghostly woman was coming out my closest at me and making my body cold. When I finally managed to get my ex girlfriend to wake me by breathing loudly (it was the only way, I couldn’t yell and I couldn’t move) I discovered that the cold air being blown on me was the damn A/C vent was blowing right at me and my ex had rolled over and taken all the covers off me. One of the big things I’ve noticed on dealing with the majority of individuals is that people firmly, and often stubbornly believe things. Not because they need to, not because it makes sense, and certainly not because they’ve spent a great deal of time rationalizing why, but because, quite simply, they want to. When someone wants to believe something, you’re about as likely to convince them, even in the face of overwhelming evidence, that it doesn’t make sense to go on believing whatever it as, as you are to convince them to stop drawing breath. It’s practically a doomed enterprise.
You see, believing in things is wanted, because, well, in reality there’s no magic in life… unless you can find a certain wonderment or joy from simply meeting different people and learning new things. Otherwise, like I said, no magic. There’s no spirits walking around trying to wrong the bad things that they did or had happen to them in life. Psychics are just low-level con men that have convinced themselves that the bullshit they believe and sell to other people who believe is in any way something that is actually legitimate and not a series of loose-guesses, perception and deductions that they can wrap in flowery words and package to people. People who believe are sort of like a cult, because they all secretly doubt in some small way, and need to constantly get around people who believe and convince themselves that what they are saying makes a damn bit of sense. It’s all about the appeal of the fantastic, real con men know all about the fantastic and the amazing, that’s their bread and butter. How do you think famous con men like ‘Yellow Kid’ Wiel or Count Victor Lustig convinced people that they had machines that can duplicate money or that The French government has decided to sell the fucking Eiffel Tower? They both knew one thing, people want to believe. Those men they conned? They believed too, and look where believing in the fantastic got them.
Spam Catalog: A Swirling Vortex of Fail
When I first registered to Blog Catalog, I did so at the behest of The Warden. Somehow, I was under the mistaken impression that it was a good site to ‘get noticed’ on. I was only half right, as it’s a good place to get noticed by Habeeb and Hadji’s spam emporium, good luck finding a breathing and intelligent human being in this seething pit of stupidity. I don’t know who moderates this site, but whoever it is must be the most down syndrome infested retard to ever walk the face of the earth. Holy shit, I have never seen so many Viagra blogs, recycled content blogs, crappy online storefront blogs, ‘blogging tips’ blogs and ‘make money online’ blogs in my entire life. This site barely encourages ‘networking’, it’s a lot easier to just add every spammer who makes a friend request and leaves a stupid comment on your ’shout box’ than to try and pick and choose. If you’re looking for actual humans and not whoever is surfing the web looking to promote his Viagra blog while working from his local Sprint call center in New Delhi, then you, my friend, are fucked.
It’s fairly common on some sites to have junk, and such. You can’t keep all the spammers out, which is true in and of itself. Whereas most sites at least endeavor to keep most of the spammers out, Blog Catalog has taken a unique and novel approach to the spam issue… they don’t even try to prevent it. I spent three hours today clicking blogs, of the blogs I clicked only 2 of them were actual blogs about things other than ‘blogging’ or ‘internet marketing,’ and only one of them was a blog that actually had content on it that didn’t consist of some jack-offs twitter ‘tweets.’ This isn’t the only day I’ve tried to find some people a random either, but some days I try to find people by interests. So I would go to say the ‘humor’ group and browse the members there, and they were Indians as well! It’s like a really boring version of Night Of The Living Dead only instead of zombies trying to eat your brains it’s Indian guys trying to sell you cell phones and cheap prescription medications.
Click The Image for A Larger Version
Oh, what’s that? ‘It can’t be that bad.’ Yeah, take a look at these shout box comments that I’ve had the pleasure of receiving, they are so legit and not at all generic form spam intended solely to get people to come to their blog and buy shoes made by slave kids in Hong-Kong.
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