Newsflash: In an interesting turn of events, humanity discovered on April 17th of this year that we shouldn’t stab people because it can kill them! While perusing the headlines this morning, this story caught my eye.
A man has appeared in court to deny the manslaughter of his teenage friend who was knifed while trying on a stab-proof vest.
As befits my generous nature, I would like to offer a minor correction to the British news journal. The man’s teenage friend was trying on what he thought to be a stab-proof vest. As evidence shows that the blade passed through the vest, it was not, in fact, stab-proof. Secondly, it was not idiot-proof. Case in point, I have my doubts about the intelligence of anyone over the age of 30 who believes the idea presented to them by a teenager, and involving sharp objects no less, to be a good one.
I have to imagine that the guilt in a case like this is only made more unbearable by the aforementioned age difference. Think about it. You’re 31 years old. An 18 year old kid asks you to stab them to try out their new vest. You do it. Then you take your medication and go back to the corner to solve the intricacies of letter blocks while eating paste and rocking back and forth repeating the mantra “Hope I dun get in twubble, derp”, because you’re obviously a grade A fucking moron.
I’m going to assume that since Christopher is not currently available to accept his Darwin award, that his friend will find a place for it on his mantle until they meet again following the latter’s eventual, deadly encounter with a knife-proof toaster.
In general I regard all attention whores in the media as little more than vacuous overflowing propaganda receptacles, leaving their refuse on the ground as more and more useless information piles on top of and slips off. These new media types, in my opinion, they all want attention, they want people big and small talking about them, spreading news of artificial and manufactured (IE: made-up) ‘controversy’ that really exists only because they know it’s a buzzword and gets people’s attention. People like Ann Coulter, or Mike Moore. They only want to capitalize and profit by hijacking people’s fears and pretenses and preaching to the already converted for book deals and a quick few bucks before dropping off the media radar like a shooting star, laughing their way to the bank. They claim to speak for us, they don’t. They speak for their corporate backers and their wallets and will say anything, no matter how stupid or crazy it is, to get that spotlight shined upon them for a few more precious seconds.
So, in general, my policy is to not waste effort saying my opinion of their opinions because in the grand scheme of things people like that do not matter, they come and go or persist only in the most slanted ideological soapboxes that will allow them to spill more of their garbage to a gradually diminishing audience. Essentially you’re arguing with a puppet, a loose configuration of rhetoric given corporal form. A shambling horrible media zombie, relentlessly craving ratings. They want to offend you, and grab your attention, so I think it’s a good idea to ignore them and I wish more people would realize this and do the same. Of course, there are exceptions for extra persistent and or insidious ones, and for that I offer these few choice words towards the individual that compelled me to write this article. Mr. Glenn Beck.
Now, Beck is known for saying racist, ignorant, and retarded political statements pretty much on a daily basis. He’s also known for holding huge corporate-sponsored and funded rallies to further establish himself as the center of a ‘movement’ that has been artificially constructed to feed Fox New’s narrative of widespread political dissent towards the evil Demoncrats and their obvious facio-socialist agenda to take over our lives. Hell, he even came close to offending me when he pretended to cry and be afraid for America, because it was such an obvious act and people still bought it. This is not what managed to actually offend me, as, like I said, I’m fairly numb and indifferent to obvious liars only out to make a quick buck. What got me was a simple statement, stated rather emphatically:
In general, people are gloriously uncreative when it comes to provoking others. This is more readily apparent when you factor in my last enemies, ‘organized’ flamers. Frankly, explaining what an organized flamer is or what their site’s are about in detail would bore me to tears. Mostly due to the fact I’ve done it one to many times. Lets just say they are people who put up a front on the internet as a tough guy / airport lounge quality stand up comic and think they are super clever and good at getting under people’s skin.
They aren’t.
That’s because, like many trolls and dumb asses that have long flocked to the internet due to it’s amazing ability to act as a bullet shield from people finding out how pathetic they are in real life, flamers are horribly insecure and thus have to turtle into little safe harbors where they can form cliques and protect themselves from other trolls who smell blood in the water and people who know how to hit them back. This leads to an almost hilarious tendency for them to think that they are bullet proof, their words, being hollow, are often posted condemning their latest targets on their own web sites. I suppose their belief was that by simply saying a version of the truth that is obviously rendered from the point of view of a delusional egomaniac, that they have scored points over people they provoke.
This is also a cowardly two-fold method to keeping their sites active so they don’t get bored. These provocations were posted after any botched ‘invasion’ of another board. Think Pirates, only instead of sinking ships, getting treasure, and murdering the crews of enemy ships; you have about five people basically posting ‘FAGTARDS WE OWN YOU’ till they are banned from said forum. The idea would be, annoy enough people that you flee to your own board where the then invaded forum would feel they had the upper hand and come to your board. Then you’d swarm them, hurl insults and act like retards till they all left and if a couple stayed you’d claim you ‘stole’ members from the other board and integrate the members that stayed into your clique. The whole point was to keep fresh blood coming to these troll forums so that they wouldn’t get bored and turn on each other. Outside targets and occasional members from these boards coming in would keep things active. Then the same basic insults could be used on a whole new group of people, thus keeping things ‘fresh.’
On my voter registration card is an acronym, it says ‘NPA.’ No Party Affiliation. There’s a reason I don’t support any political party, and that’s because it makes the most sense to me not to put my faith in the hands of complete idiots. Seriously, spend half a day watching house and senate meetings on CSPAN and you’ll see what I’m talking about. These are supposedly the best of the party, the winners, the people in charge of making laws to improve our collective lives. So why is it that the speaker from Tennessee or Alabama or one of those bible belt states is wasting the House’s time requesting that everyone stand up and sing ‘God Bless America’ and those that are opposed should be put on record as ‘hating America?’ Because he’s an idiot that’s why, and so is every single person that voted for him. Then some democrat from up north, I think New York gets up and starts singing it before whoever is in charge of this ship of fools stops this lame political stunt in it’s tracks.
These are the people responsible for passing bills and reforms folks, a room full of feeble old people who spend most of their time obfuscating every issue and delaying any progress to make some half-assed protests or to try and score some political points for their re-election campaign. That’s all it is really, these are career politicians. They have awesome health care (at taxpayer expense), their pockets are lined with so many backers and lobbyists, that to think that people in circumstances like that actually give a damn what happens to anyone else is almost laughable. That’s just rhetoric though.
It’s just humorous to me to see what these people do exactly. For example, just now I was watching this guy from Texas, one, John Carter, go on a speech in the House. This man, who looks like my grandfather, went on about the forefathers, and how they founded a ‘republic’ for blah blah blah morals blah blah blah. This went on for about three minutes. First, I don’t think the House needs a damn history lesson that serves as little more than an attempt to assert your party is right by simple virtue of the fact the forefathers founded a republic so republic-ans must be the chosen ones. Right, okay, whatever. Second, I’m not sure what this has to do with the purpose of the hearing, which apparently was to talk about the federal bailout money and where it went. I know why he said it, to fluff his point. To give whatever argument he’s about to present the presumption of correctness rather than actually making a point that’s significant enough to stick.
Throughout my life I’ve been plagued with a nagging doubt, inherently distrusting most anything I hear or see till I can get a close examination of it. This is because my life has not exactly been filled with rainbows and buttercups. Some people are shown a different world through their experience than others. Some may have viewed their school days, for example, with fondness. Others may only remember the awkwardness and the petty cruelties imposed upon them by others. As an example of course, because I certainly don’t relate to the latter at all. Because of this distrust, a person becomes somewhat difficult to manipulate or be told things that they cannot confirm. Of these things, religion is definitely one of them. I was raised Southern Baptist, went to crazy churches full of yelling and carrying on, when behind the scenes things weren’t much different for me than school. I got picked on by the church kids… in the damn church. My family has always made the assumption that due to this fact, I viewed all Christians as hypocrites and distanced myself from the religion.
I’d say that they are half-right. Most Christians, it seems, tend to bypass the parts of the bible that are inconvenient for them and exaggerate others for their own benefit. That’s not my problem with Christianity, or any religion based on the teachings of the bible. My particular issue is much more complicated than that. It wouldn’t be fair of me to dislike an entire religion because the followers don’t always heed the words they profess to base their lives around. Some people have a problem with people basing their life on a book written thousands of years ago and, as a result, is not relevant to modern life; but those are the same people that just are too lazy to see how the old viewpoints are applicable to today. It’s not hard to infer generalities from old literature, people do it all the time. You’d hardly consider Homer to be a waste of paper, even though it’s not relevant to today, you can still get something out of it. Hence why they teach it in schools.
No, my problem lies with the very heart of the religion itself, God. The Creator. Science claims that one day a big wad of crap exploded and made the universe, but little is offered to explain where said wad of crap came from or why it decided to erupt. Christianity professes that god did it. Well, lets explore that. Why did God create the universe? An all-powerful, all-knowing, all-seeing being was just floating around in nothingness since… forever. We are given no explanation as to where this being came from, what created him, and how the hell he has so much power. So this supposedly all-powerful force was just sitting around one day, got bored, and decided to make the universe. From that point he decided to create life. What’s the motivation exactly? Maybe he was lonely. Maybe it was a test to see which of the very beings he created would stay loyal to him after he put a little pressure on them. So heaven goes to war, they kill each other off, and the survivors are cast down to Hell. Giving God a place to send those who he decides he must punish. Beings he created. Beings he knew would react in a certian way no matter what he did because he’s omnipotent. Yet he went ahead and did it anyway. He made man.
Released in 2009 during the famous television writer’s strike, Joss Whedon’s Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog is a web-based mini series created by a small talented team and distributed in 3 acts over the course of about a week. The entire production from beginning to end consists of purely brilliant writing, acting and creativity that was apparently meant to show that the writer’s strike would not make all options for entertainment impossible. It worked.
As I watched, and watched again, I realized that there is something very familiar and comforting about this one-shot sensation. Sure, the humor is some of the best I’ve seen, the music is incredible, and it’s going to be topping charts as one of the greatest random displays of genius that we’ve had the pleasure to see outside of the typical scripted work on TV. But it wasn’t that. It was Dr. Horrible himself.
Dubbed a “tragicomedy”, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog presents trials that could relate to so many people if the rules were different. A decent person down deep, Dr. Horrible (alias Billy) merely wants to be inducted into the Evil League of Evil for his scheming and inventing talents; a typical mad scientist, he is not brutal or murderous in the least, until someone hurts him and puts him in a position in which even non-geniuses find themselves driven to unspeakable feats, and that is where some viewers can identify. It no longer becomes the exact same sort of humor the bubbly idiot sitting next to you is watching, and you find it funny but you find it sad too.
While I’ve always considered most far right-wing people to be somewhat… mentally unbalanced, especially during the two terms of our last President George W. Bush, I’ve never seen them become quite as unglued as they have in the past few months. Right-wing madness is at a record high that I think would put even the most smug of hippies to shame. You didn’t see hippies at a town hall meeting screaming ‘WHY ARE YOU IGNORING HIS BIRTH CERTIFICATE!?!‘ and trying to claim the fucking President isn’t a US Citizen at least. Yeah, Obama managed to fool the CIA and the FBI into believing he’s a citizen! He’s just that persuasive. Of course, being a crazy old woman I doubt the lady responsible for the above quote knows that his birth certificate was released by Obama just to shut crazy people like this up. To which, some of these mutants who believe he’s not a citizen claim that until they see it in person they won’t believe it! Like Obama is gonna just go around letting them look at his birth certificate to dispel the rumors of the crazy and the senile. Of course not all the people who believe this to be true are crazy and senile, some of them are elected congressmen which is really, really pathetic.
People like this piss me off about as much as those assholes who thought 9/11 was staged.
Something about having to defend a politician makes me feel dirty, and there’s almost too much crazy for any one person to dispel. Thankfully, not everyone has decided to throw facts out the window and there are some places to find… you know, valid information, about these bizarre rumors. There are a few that make me laugh, such as, and this should be a given, that Obama is the Antichrist. You heard me.
While searching for a good photo of Dick Masterson – Professional Chauvinist to tack onto my previous article, I came across what is apparently (and was inevitably) a site designed to “fight back” against www.menarebetterthanwomen.com. What is the name of this counter-site you ask? Well duh. It’s http://womenrbetterthanmen.wordpress.com/. Now ignoring the fact that the grammar in the URL is fucked, the basic concept of a retaliatory project designed (presumably) by a female sounded interesting, so I gave it a quick once over. I wish I hadn’t.
First off, this is, in fact, not a good idea on any level. Reasons for that being:
The term “Don’t feed the trolls” applies to the original message from Mr. Masterson, and if you were trying to prove that women react angrily and predictably to his kind of rampant jackass behavior, then jacktheterrier (the author of the blog) has succeeded.
The intelligence level of the author in question is most certainly not that of a person that either gender would want representing them. For example, the list of reasons why women are better than men actually make Dick look right about what he said, including moronic statements that only gel with his theories such as:
9th. Men are sugar daddy’s, ATMs, cash machines, piggy banks, bank accounts and so forth
1st. We don’t pay for sex, you do (and we’ll never have to) (editors note: the definition of a WHORE is a woman who fucks for money)
So within the past few days, I’ve come across a series of links leading me to a site called www.menarebetterthanwomen.com. That’s right, it says Men are Better than Women…. dot com. While I think the majority is still somewhat uncertain as to whether or not this site and its owner hold any legitimate position and are not, in fact, simply intended as a gimmick to make money, the popularity, or rather notoriety of Dick Masterson’s vision cannot be denied.
Apparently, Mr. Masterson is a “professional chauvinist”, and I suppose the fact that he’s making a shit ton of money off of little more than calling women fat, stupid, selfish whores would actually give that title some merit. Gimmick or not, what’s Dick’s big game plan? To insult women. A lot. But I’ve come to a conclusion through reading some of his blog articles and watching his appearance on Dr. Phil – Dick is nuts.
While I find humor in offending the thin-skinned and the stupid, it is not and never has been solely one gender, race, nor creed that I find a suitable target. Not only is that just plain old discriminatory, but let’s face it, it’s boring. Then again, I don’t think I’ll have as much nationwide success as Dick by calling my book/website “Certain People are Better than Certain Other People”. It’s just not as catchy.
When I first registered to Blog Catalog, I did so at the behest of The Warden. Somehow, I was under the mistaken impression that it was a good site to ‘get noticed’ on. I was only half right, as it’s a good place to get noticed by Habeeb and Hadji’s spam emporium, good luck finding a breathing and intelligent human being in this seething pit of stupidity. I don’t know who moderates this site, but whoever it is must be the most down syndrome infested retard to ever walk the face of the earth. Holy shit, I have never seen so many Viagra blogs, recycled content blogs, crappy online storefront blogs, ‘blogging tips’ blogs and ‘make money online’ blogs in my entire life. This site barely encourages ‘networking’, it’s a lot easier to just add every spammer who makes a friend request and leaves a stupid comment on your ‘shout box’ than to try and pick and choose. If you’re looking for actual humans and not whoever is surfing the web looking to promote his Viagra blog while working from his local Sprint call center in New Delhi, then you, my friend, are fucked.
It’s fairly common on some sites to have junk, and such. You can’t keep all the spammers out, which is true in and of itself. Whereas most sites at least endeavor to keep most of the spammers out, Blog Catalog has taken a unique and novel approach to the spam issue… they don’t even try to prevent it. I spent three hours today clicking blogs, of the blogs I clicked only 2 of them were actual blogs about things other than ‘blogging’ or ‘internet marketing,’ and only one of them was a blog that actually had content on it that didn’t consist of some jack-offs twitter ‘tweets.’ This isn’t the only day I’ve tried to find some people a random either, but some days I try to find people by interests. So I would go to say the ‘humor’ group and browse the members there, and they were Indians as well! It’s like a really boring version of Night Of The Living Dead only instead of zombies trying to eat your brains it’s Indian guys trying to sell you cell phones and cheap prescription medications.
Click The Image for A Larger Version
Oh, what’s that? ‘It can’t be that bad.’ Yeah, take a look at these shout box comments that I’ve had the pleasure of receiving, they are so legit and not at all generic form spam intended solely to get people to come to their blog and buy shoes made by slave kids in Hong-Kong.
I like the hip writers: Fitzgerald, the guy who committed suicide, Hemingway, all those guys. Some of them were alcoholics and drug addicts but they had fun. They were real people. They formed the culture of American literature. Hemingway admired Tolstoy, Tolstoy admired Pushkin, and Mailer admired Hemingway. It all flows down. The greats are all connected. One day I’m gonna write a book myself. The first chapter will be about what a rough deal my momma got. She believed in you guys and your society. — Mike Tyson
Spam Catalog: A Swirling Vortex of Fail
When I first registered to Blog Catalog, I did so at the behest of The Warden. Somehow, I was under the mistaken impression that it was a good site to ‘get noticed’ on. I was only half right, as it’s a good place to get noticed by Habeeb and Hadji’s spam emporium, good luck finding a breathing and intelligent human being in this seething pit of stupidity. I don’t know who moderates this site, but whoever it is must be the most down syndrome infested retard to ever walk the face of the earth. Holy shit, I have never seen so many Viagra blogs, recycled content blogs, crappy online storefront blogs, ‘blogging tips’ blogs and ‘make money online’ blogs in my entire life. This site barely encourages ‘networking’, it’s a lot easier to just add every spammer who makes a friend request and leaves a stupid comment on your ‘shout box’ than to try and pick and choose. If you’re looking for actual humans and not whoever is surfing the web looking to promote his Viagra blog while working from his local Sprint call center in New Delhi, then you, my friend, are fucked.
It’s fairly common on some sites to have junk, and such. You can’t keep all the spammers out, which is true in and of itself. Whereas most sites at least endeavor to keep most of the spammers out, Blog Catalog has taken a unique and novel approach to the spam issue… they don’t even try to prevent it. I spent three hours today clicking blogs, of the blogs I clicked only 2 of them were actual blogs about things other than ‘blogging’ or ‘internet marketing,’ and only one of them was a blog that actually had content on it that didn’t consist of some jack-offs twitter ‘tweets.’ This isn’t the only day I’ve tried to find some people a random either, but some days I try to find people by interests. So I would go to say the ‘humor’ group and browse the members there, and they were Indians as well! It’s like a really boring version of Night Of The Living Dead only instead of zombies trying to eat your brains it’s Indian guys trying to sell you cell phones and cheap prescription medications.
Click The Image for A Larger Version
Oh, what’s that? ‘It can’t be that bad.’ Yeah, take a look at these shout box comments that I’ve had the pleasure of receiving, they are so legit and not at all generic form spam intended solely to get people to come to their blog and buy shoes made by slave kids in Hong-Kong.
Click to continue reading “Spam Catalog: A Swirling Vortex of Fail”
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