» Repose Blog

Honest Goodbye

Mr. Repose — Thu, 14 Jul 2011 00:36:55 +0000

A couple of weeks ago, my grandfather died. Which has brought not a fullsade of sorrow, tears, and grief as one would expect given the apocalyptic overtones of mortality manifesting itself in one’s life. What it has done to me, is make me think about the ramifications of his life and how it’s been [...]

A Certain Sense of Liberty

Mr. Repose — Sat, 07 May 2011 17:43:19 +0000

I have a car, a place all my own, and it’s nice.

It’s really really nice.

Frankly the past two years have been extremely trying on my self-esteem and my feeling of self-worth, but I powered through. I have peace and a place to work and I’ve been feeling really good about writing lately. For the first time [...]

A Hell-Ride in the Trust Me Car

Mr. Repose — Tue, 21 Sep 2010 23:03:32 +0000

So the towing company was en route, but then Dmitri was complaining about feeling sick... so of course Alfonso feels the need to turn on my TV and start watching Jackass the movie. Then of course he started descibing what was going on while watching it. For example, “Dude, this so gross, they are snorting worms and pulling them out their throats.” Which is smart to do when you have a sick drunk man near you, so of course, Dmitri then proceeded to puke up tomato soup and beer all over the front of his shirt, he was too drunk to clean himself up so while Alfonso laughed like a manic, I had to take a wet towel and clean off a drunken red-eyed Dmitri. [...]

‘No Hero’

Mr. Repose — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 02:28:30 +0000

"I think in relationships, especially long ones, people tend to believe that they love someone when in fact they only love certain aspects of their personality and so in a very passive-aggressive way try to bend them towards their will. Which leads to friction, which leads to arguing, which if not confronted leads to either a kind of bitter acceptance or total failure of said relationship. Of course that's just my particular experience on the subject, it also may have something to do with some people being inherently cowardly or unwilling to assert their own will and so succumbs to a sort of domination by the other party." [...]

ADD Block

Mr. Repose — Sun, 02 May 2010 05:26:35 +0000

Over the course of the last month several things have been going on in rapid succession that have, in many ways left me scrambled, confused and otherwise ducking for mental cover. Primarily when events spiral out of control I find that writing is the only way to be able to sit down, structure them, and put them in a logical order so that I can understand them. Keep in mind that I have ADD, and being a stubborn bastard I refuse to seek medication or to seek other forms of release, such as therapy. I do this mostly because, well, I feel that ADD is part of who I am, and therefore, being a logical and reasonable person I should be able to adjust or work around it without it destroying my life in the process. The thing about me is that, well, I want to solve my own problems, in my own way. [...]

Black Holes and Resolutions

Mr. Repose — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 00:48:20 +0000

There was definitely something missing from the narrative. It seemed, to put it mildly, disingenuous; but I couldn't place my finger on why exactly that was the case until a conversation with a friend of mine that broached the subject of the book's progress. He looked at me deadpan and said, "this character sounds like he has a lot in common with you." That's when it dawned on me. I had been writing this book as though the main character and I were the same person, and therefore his narrative is really my narrative. How I would react to these situations, or at least how I'd like to think I'd react. The problem with the finished draft was the narritive style, it was all wrong for the character and who he was. So this re-tooling has been interesting because now I'm trying to say it like another person would. [...]

The Gentle Art of Making Enemies – Tales From My Final Web War

Mr. Repose — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 00:13:03 +0000

That's because, like many trolls and dumb asses that have long flocked to the internet due to it's amazing ability to act as a bullet shield from people finding out how pathetic they are in real life, flamers are horribly insecure and thus have to turtle into little safe harbors where they can form cliques and protect themselves from other trolls who smell blood in the water and people who know how to hit them back. This leads to an almost hilarious tendency for them to think that they are bullet proof, their words, being hollow, are often posted condemning their latest targets on their own web sites. I suppose their believe was that by simply saying a version of the truth that is obviously rendered from the point of view of a delusional egomaniac, that they have scored points over people they provoke. [...]

Radio Silence

Mr. Repose — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 03:57:12 +0000

Monolithic Horizon started a long time ago, when I was around the age of twenty. Sure other stories have come along and I've worked on shorts and played with a few chapters here and there for the hell of it, for a break, for whatever. But the end result is that the book was never finished, I just sat on it. I've been delaying finishing it since I started writing it because, I'm dreadfully afraid of failure. It seems as though my preference has been been simply to not try. When you don't try and you fail, at least it's easier. When you work hard for something, when you... for whatever reason, actually care about something and it slips through your fingers or falls apart then it's a lot harder to deal with. At least in my case. [...]

Convos From the Dark Side: Mister Repose’s Final Form

Mr. Repose — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 02:16:29 +0000

Notice the dignity he brings to my protruding forehead, my squinted eyes, my flared nostrils, my horse-teeth biting into my lower lip, the way I scrunch my neck up giving me the illusion of having double-chin. They should just take the Mona Lisa down, burn it in the town square, and replace it with this majestic masterpiece. I dub this work of art 'Le Repose In A State of Coital Rapture.' [...]

Light at the End

Mr. Repose — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 20:23:20 +0000

During my time on these tubes I have encountered an unusual amount of desperate, lonely, and in some cases, eccentric people. This is because, due to my nature, I tend to avoid websites and such that are extremely large and/or popular. In the more obscure corners these kinds of people thrive. One of the deciding factors for my leaving Open Diary ten years ago stemmed from the fact that the place was outgrowing it's users. Now, this experience in dealing with these types of people, is that you find out something which I feel is extremely important in life... that your situation is not special or unique. Odds are, someone else has been where you're going or has just crawled out of where you've been. I forget where this quote is from that summarizes that sentiment, but I think it was a video game. I want to say Max Payne, but I'm not sure. Anyway it goes something like this. "There are no apocalypses, just personal ones; and nothing is a cliche when it's happening to you." [...]