So I went to see Bruno in theaters.   While I loved Da Ali G show and Borat, I wasn’t as thrilled over his latest project.   You see with the Ali G show or Borat, he pretended to be just an idiot, and as a result, people either got mad at him or showed their own ignorance.   One of the funniest truisms that Mr. Cohen discovered on his last projects is that the dumber you act, the more people tell you what they are really thinking.   This is something I have noticed in my day-to-day life as well, and often when you get people to talk to you as though you were beneath them, almost child-like, the better you can gauge just how fucked in the head they really are.   I mean, as Borat on the show he managed to convince a country western bar’s occupants to join him in a traditional Kazakhstani song ‘throw the jew down the well.’   Which, they not only sang along to, but danced and clapped to as well.   Easily one of the funniest god damn things I have seen in a long time, and not because he was trying to be purposefully offensive, he was playing a character.   It’s how people react to his characters that make it sometimes depressingly funny, or at the very least, incredibly awkward.   I mean, I sometimes had to look away during his interviews because of how uncomfortable he made people.

So allow me to explain, specifically, what was wrong with this movie.   I can sum it up in one sentence.

Too much wang.

You heard me.   Cock.   Dick.  Penis.   It was the most wang-filled movie I’ve seen since Summer Bukkake Blast 8:  It’s Raining Mangurt.   Good lord there was a lot of wang in this fucking movie.   Even more than The Watchmen with it’s constant threats of seeing yet another glowing blue Dr. Manhattan member (or members).   Now I’m not one to be grotesquely horrified whenever I see a penis in a movie, or in general.   Lord knows if that were the case I’d have already set my computer on fire after seeing some of the underlying horrors lurking within these internets.  The thing was that I was expecting something entirely different from what I got.   At the beginning of the film Bruno is openly mocking the fashion world, interviewing models who claim how ‘hard’ their job is because they have to ‘walk’ and ‘there’s a lot of pressure to turn.’   Or when he shows up in a suit made entirely of Velcro and it starts getting tangled in peoples clothes and the set props, falls out on the runway, and proceeds to walk the runway as though he was supposed to be there.   That type of shit really makes me laugh, it’s so sarcastic and condescending towards the people whom he’s targeting and they just don’t get it.   He acts like an idiot and they just think he’s for real and in turn show off their own ignorance.   Too funny.   Those moments are rare though in this film, and all the truly subversive humor is over with within the first fifteen minutes.

I hoped it would get better, but alas, Bruno was missing out on the wit end and I was forced to deal with seeing Cohen’s cock… or someones cock, spin like a helicopter before turning to point at the screen and mouth ‘BRUNO’ with the pee hole.   Apparently he managed to get people to show up for a focus group for his new show, then proceeded to terrorize them with footage of his ‘show’ that involves him dancing badly, and extremely gayly, followed by an ‘interveiw’ with Harrison Ford that was just Cohen asking Ford if he could ask him some questions and Ford yelling ‘fuck off’ to him as he got into his limo and sped away.   Kudos on being terse Harrison.