Friends are awesome.  It doesn’t matter what they look like, where they live, or what they do for a living; the important thing is that they stimulate you to try your hand at previously undiscovered territory in your hobbies and/or talents, for example writing mean-spirited rants about their common sense deprived non-mutual acquaintances.  Today’s subject: Ridiculous footwear and the people that love it.

Now I was introduced to the following link, which I knew was going to be gold the moment I was asked “Ok, how gay is this?”, by one such friend.  I prepared with a strange mix of glee and trepidation for the sparkling trove yet to be unveiled when Firefox finally decided to load.  I was not disappointed.  Feast your eyes on the Vibram brand Fivefingers KSO for men:

http://www.vibramfivefingers.com/products/products_KSO_m.cfm

Yes, those are real shoes designed, presumably, by real people and not crazed hippy gorillas injecting drano straight into their corneas for a buzz, but it’s not like anyone would blame you for making the mistake.  They give the appearance of being rather uncomfortable, they’re stupidly overpriced, and the name KSO stands for “KEEPS STUFF OUT”.  Brilliant! (not really)  The most important thing, however, is that they look fucking retarded and I would be embarrassed to be seen in them, especially if the people around me knew they carried a price tag of $85.

However, that’s not the best part.