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Dr. Repose: The site's wanna-be author, professional jerk, monster who's dead on the inside, and semi-proud owner.

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Spam Catalog: A Swirling Vortex of Fail

When I first registered to Blog Catalog, I did so at the behest of The Warden.    Somehow, I was under the mistaken impression that it was a good site to ‘get noticed’ on.   I was only half right, as it’s a good place to get noticed by Habeeb and Hadji’s spam emporium, good luck finding a breathing and intelligent human being in this seething pit of stupidity.   I don’t know who moderates this site, but whoever it is must be the most down syndrome infested retard to ever walk the face of the earth.   Holy shit, I have never seen so many Viagra blogs, recycled content blogs, crappy online storefront blogs, ‘blogging tips’ blogs and ‘make money online’ blogs in my entire life.   This site barely encourages ‘networking’, it’s a lot easier to just add every spammer who makes a friend request and leaves a stupid comment on your ‘shout box’ than to try and pick and choose.   If you’re looking for actual humans and not whoever is surfing the web looking to promote his Viagra blog while working from his local Sprint call center in New Delhi, then you, my friend, are fucked.

It’s fairly common on some sites to have junk, and such.    You can’t keep all the spammers out, which is true in and of itself.   Whereas most sites at least endeavor to keep most of the spammers out, Blog Catalog has taken a unique and novel approach to the spam issue… they don’t even try to prevent it.   I spent three hours today clicking blogs, of the blogs I clicked only 2 of them were actual blogs about things other than ‘blogging’ or ‘internet marketing,’ and only one of them was a blog that actually had content on it that didn’t consist of some jack-offs twitter ‘tweets.’    This isn’t the only day I’ve tried to find some people a random either, but some days I try to find people by interests.   So I would go to say the ‘humor’ group and browse the members there, and they were Indians as well! It’s like a really boring version of Night Of The Living Dead only instead of zombies trying to eat your brains it’s Indian guys trying to sell you cell phones and cheap prescription medications.

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Oh, what’s that?  ‘It can’t be that bad.’  Yeah, take a look at these shout box comments that I’ve had the pleasure of receiving, they are so legit and not at all generic form spam intended solely to get people to come to their blog and buy shoes made by slave kids in Hong-Kong.

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The Joy of Statistics, Logistics and … Platypi

This site, well, doesn’t get many comments.   Page views seem fairly high though, and I suppose that tells me that at least someone is reading this nonsense, and that’s really good enough for me.   As Huxley states every now and then in the rotating quotes on the right, obscurity can only be cultivated in the dark.   Or at least something to that effect.

When I first created this site, it was much like… say, a rebound relationship.   My last website broke my heart, cut me to the bone, and made me want to pick up an acoustic guitar and write the world’s billionth love song.   So this was the first thing I made.   At first I wanted to name it Platitudes.com, for the precise reason that, unless I’m being extremely lazy in my writing, I sort of go out of my way to avoid platitudes.   You could even say that it was intended to be ironic which would have been sure to tickle the funny bones of any Gen-Xer that happened to be reading this.   As a side note to that, I  once cracked wise that the best way to get money out of those idiots is to just call things what they are, they seem to think saying something is what it is in a really droll voice makes it cutting and clever.  Ironic.  My brilliant idea was to make Gen-X clothing.   Hats that said, in small text ‘hat.’   Shoes that were in fact labeled ‘Shoe Brand Shoes.’   Expensive t-shirts that said ‘T-Shirt.’   You get the idea.  Of course, I couldn’t get the website name I wanted which sort of irritated me, so I got the Warden on Ventrilo along with another friend of mine in an attempt to coax a new name out of them since my first choice was taken.

Being the super useful Co-Admin he is the Warden cracked wise that Platitudes sounded a lot like, Platypuses.  You know, the ugly poisonous duckbeasts from that wasteland of humanity known as Australia, where everything is poisonous and will kill your ass.  Especially the music, Jet sucks.  So, the suggestion was to name the site, I shit you not… PlatitudePlatypus.com.   While not only is this a stupid suggestion, against my better judgment I said, ‘dude, who would think of something like that?’   Little did I realize that this is the damn internet.  It’s not a matter of who would think of something like that, it’s a matter of when. So I did a google search for ‘platitude.’  This lead me to an article on uncyclopedia.  What’s that you see in the right hand corner upon viewing the page?   A FUCKING PLATYPUS SPEAKING PLATITUDES!

Sometimes, I swear that god only decides to exist to mock me.

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