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Apart from a few graphic novels and essentially noncanonical works of comic-related fiction (ie: films like the Dark Knight), it’s been nearly a decade and a half since I’ve bothered to invest much attention in the comic book world or its ridiculous, bloodthirsty fandom. Nevertheless, the inevitable references to established characters of the genre occasionally make their way into other hobbies of mine, and into Google query results even when I’m not looking for them. It’s precisely that concept that led me to write this article.
It’s not a big secret that I’m not so much a fan of comic books themselves as I am a keen observer of some of the interesting characters that have been introduced in their pages; with possible exception to books like The Tick, I find little value in just picking up a comic book to read if it’s part of a longer-running, convoluted storyline that I’m going to be neither interested in hunting down nor willing to part with the money for, to find out what happens next. Many of my favorite comic book moments as a kid were one shot issues with more edgy yet generally simple artwork without the superfluous inclusion of chains and shitty anatomy (hi Todd McFarlane!), because more often than not, these stories had more personality than the standard spandex wearing superzeroes could provide.
That’s why I found it both depressing and hilarious to note how the members of Comic Vine take a collective steaming wee wee on the entire roster of potentially awesome characters by reducing them to what they can do in a fight, because apparently that’s all comic book mainstays are suited for. It’s like arguing with my friends back in grade school about which video game system was better. Hence, comic book fans can be really fucking stupid. Just take a look at one of the main draws of Comic Vine – the ability to vote on randomly generated fights between superheroes, supervillains, Vegeta, and God. You know, I swear I’ve seen this before somewhere. Hmmm. Oh that’s right…
Kittenwar.com
Aw geez, I always feel bad voting on one kitty over another one, they’re all so snuggly wuggly! Comic book fans of today apparently feel the same confliction when they see Superman vs. pretty much anyone. And if you thought I was joking when I said Vegeta and God, just click the Powers link at the top of the page, and prepare for incoming douchebaggery of the highest order. According to this scientific device, the Lich King’s powers of necromancy are greater than those of Alice Cooper, but not enough to best Rob Zombie. Wow.
That’s not the best part though;
Click to continue reading “I heard it through the Comic Vine”
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A while back, Gamespot.com began a tier-based, vote-fueled, completely fraudulent and utterly retarded popularity contest called “All Time Greatest Game Villain” that would result in much whining and disappointment, this article included. However, as someone who grew up with nearly all of the characters involved, I feel it is a right and a duty of mine, in all the power my geeky childhood gives me to do so, to further mock what has already become a mini monument of fail. Let’s take a look at how the contest worked:
Obviously, every villain on the list appeared during week 1. The obvious losers were quickly shuffled off the stage, making way for more epic battles in week 2. Things were already looking bad, however, when threads began appearing on 4chan with suggestions on who to vote for/against, links provided. An event that, on sites like IGN for example, would have been a typical “List” that readers could either take or leave depending on whether they agreed with the handful of editors behind the project (GLaDOS was the #1 villain there, fyi), the Gamespot version was given the worst odds of a pleasant outcome by putting the voting power into the hands of members, lurkers, and trolls.
The main issue I had with the content was that it included several characters that, for all intents and purposes, earned their fame.. or infamy as the case may be, well outside of the video game industry. The Joker. Darth Vader. Even Dracula, though the latter starred in an original game series for over 20 years and not just the bi-products of major franchises wanking into a hat to keep interest in their characters alive.
This would not have been a problem, save for the fact that there are a lot of Darth Vader fanboys out there who for reasons of insanity or possible head trauma, refuse to believe that the Sith lord could be battered senseless by an enemy as simple as Ganondorf because hey, he’s in Star Wars and the bigger your death star, the more fanfictions you win by default. Any character that had the wherewithal to rip Vader’s clunky-ass suit from his charred old man body would sooner pity him than stomp on his face. I draw the line at the Pac Man ghosts though; persistent, yes, but overwhelming psychic power to rival the Force is not their strong suit.
Likewise with the Joker, even moreso in fact… I mean, just think about the Joker meeting the Lich King or Bowser in a dark alley. For all his craftiness against the coppers, the only reason he’s even alive is because Batman refuses to kill him. Bowser weighs about ten thousand pounds and breathes fire and oh yeah, he’s a fucking fire breathing monster. Did I mention that? Because he is. I’d like to see a witty quip get you out of the burn unit.
So as super duper cool as Vader and the Joker happen to be, they didn’t belong on the list, because obviously they would go on to dominate it unfairly, and are not game specific characters, despite the sum total of games they’ve actually been in. Anyone who disagrees is a fuckhead. Moving on…
Click to continue reading “Gamespot’s Greatest Game Villains and Other Stupid Popularity Contests.”
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Conceptually creating a convincing villain is actually terribly difficult if you want to do it right. When you consider, foremost, coming up with a strong enough motive to possibly justify said villain’s behavior. Which, is not entirely the most difficult part of the process, but it’s close. The most popular justification is the ‘one bad day’ scenario. As is the case of many comic book heroes and villains, is that quite a few had one. One moment in their lives that was so awful and terrible it bent and twisted them, one way or the other, into acts of extreme depravity or heroism. Just a few examples. Spiderman decided to use his powers to be a hero for good when his Uncle is gunned down in the streets after he (Spiderman) had a fight with him. The Punisher is another great example. Retired delta force officer, takes his wife and kids for a stroll in the park, and they all get gunned down in front of him, caught in some mobster’s crossfire. Batman, for example, he too has one bad day, seeing his parents killed in front of him by a mugger. These moments fundamentally change their lives, sending them off to be heroes. The mentality being of course, that they cannot allow what happened to them to happen to anyone else. Though, I feel I must clarify that I don’t technically view the Punisher as a hero per say, he just kills criminals. I cannot really fault him for just killing them rather than simply capturing them and allowing them to get loose over and over again. Which, is a fault of the character of Batman, who only seems to contain the damage his villains cause rather than put an end to it for good. It’s arguable as to who’s methods are more effective, but not exactly the point of this entry.
The villains also have a similar origin pattern, often simply being a mirror version of their nemesis. In this way, it makes their reason for fighting each other almost a co-dependent relationship. The hero needs the villain to satisfy his urge to save the day and protect villain, and the villain needs the hero to give them something to fight against. A great example of this would be Alan Moore’s The Killing Joke, which depicts the Joker’s origins as similar to Batman’s. One bad day is all it took, and his world was destroyed and he went insane, in a different way. Or as The Joker himself comments in the comic, “You had a bad day once, am I right?… Why else would you dress up like a flying rat?” In this intricate dynamic your villain and hero cannot really carry a story on their own and therefore the story becomes co-dependent on this element to always be present. The villain acting and the hero reacting.
But that’s just the comics, but do not mistake that sentiment for me being dismissive, as I still actively read graphic novels. Not so much the typical superhero fare anymore. The problem as I see it with the ‘one bad day’ scenario is that it’s too clean, too easy to justify or explain. It’s not realistic or, honestly, very believable. Villains are not just the result of one terrible tragic moment, some villains are born twisted. Some are slowly, and gradually, driven towards the inevitable event horizon of their own person mental apocalypses. Some just make a string of increasingly amoral decisions based on morality or greed or patriotism until they have become crooked on the inside. The real world equivalent of super villains, people like Adolf Hitler, Josef Stalin, and (to a lesser extent maybe) Osama Bin Ladin. People like that aren’t just born from having their parents killed in front of them or their village tragically burnt to the ground. They are also proof of one statement that I have heard, but cannot remember the source exactly, so allow me to paraphrase: “No villain written could be as bad as history’s worst.” Which, I semi-agree with. Who could match orchestrating the deaths of millions of people to a comic villain pouring some fear inducing powder into a cities water supply? The problem I have always felt with villains I have seen in some stories is that they don’t feel realistic.
Click to continue reading “Creating Realistic Monsters”
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There has been some controversy about the newly released 4th title in the insanely popular, iconic Street Fighter video game series, all in regards to the final boss character. Named Seth, he’s bald, blue, has the ability to teleport, his stage is a high tech laboratory, and well.. he’s Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen.
That’s what it boils down to. Though this was being discussed as early as last year, the similarities are far too noticeable to be ignored by the majority, and all but the most desperate of Capcom fanboys* has to agree that this is highly suspect, and possibly even an attempt to cash in on the Watchmen film, being released today. In addition to the fact that it would have been painfully simple to strip a boss character of any extra detail, the timing is just too coincidental. I, personally, have always enjoyed Capcom’s games, but maybe they’re no longer content with ripping off of their own past material and slappnig new names on it (The Resident Evil series and Megaman 1 through holy shit, for example). They’re no strangers to just tossing out “new” editions like confetti.
Let’s list the incriminating evidence here.
Click to continue reading “Street Fighter IV – Starring: Dr. Manhattan?”
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