Once again, I have nothing good to say about anyone.  This is because I was born with curly red hair and didn’t get enough hugs.  Plus, I haven’t been laid in like, 6 months.  Well I threw a dart at the list on my wall, and it fell comically to the floor, so I guess the target today is … everyone. That suits me just fine.

I give you, the Top 10 most annoying sorts of people.  Note: While I understand that there are far more varieties of obnoxious, foul-smelling peons in the world, I had to keep this somewhat reasonably sized because we’re pressed for space until we find a way to deal with the tag monster problem.  Apparently fire doesn’t get rid of everything.

10. Australians

G’die, Mite!  Aussies managed to come in as the least annoying of the 10 that came to mind, because while nearly every Australian I’ve met is an easily angered, argumentative twatdangle, this happens to work in their favor as well; they like to pick fights, I like to pick fights.  The only differences here are, I don’t live in a cat box and my accent is typically not the subject of ridicule.  Australians sound like retarded British people, and the fact is, if you tell them this, they probably won’t laugh it off.  They’ll just adjust their ‘wit’ accordingly, then call you what amounts to ‘stupid asshole’ anyway, only it will sound far more idiotic and is quite likely to simply cause laughter and requests of more funny Aussie slang.  The sad thing is, if you look up Aussie slang, the primary Google result as of this writing is a page that remarks:

Well, when you think of Australia, chances are you think of Desert, Kangaroos and Paul Hogan. And when you think of the way we speak, you probably think of “g’day”, “mate”, and the phrase popularised by Paul Hogan, “Throw another shrimp on the barbie!”

It’s not all I think of.  I also think of the huge flies that buzz around you constantly no matter where the fuck you are, the ungodly heat, and this one Jackie Chan movie that took place in Australia because American actors were too expensive to hire.

If all of this sounds a little ethnocentric, bear it in mind that I happen to think my own country is full of clueless, shallow fuckheads obsessed with war (in fact, Americans rank higher up in the list).  At least Aussies don’t have that.  They just like to call you names you have to look up when you get home.